If you walk into Beardilizer HQ on any given day you are guaranteed to find a few things going on; acts of raw masculinity, an earnest conversation about the importance of encouraging others to grow competition free-hand moustaches and a long, heated conversation about The Walking Dead. End of the World, Apocalyptic stuff is Beardilizer’s jam! We live for anything that involves explosions, zombies, volcanic eruptions, and beards. The beardos on staff could not help but notice that Hollywood is finally starting to put together that dudes do not want to shave at the end of the world. Who has time to shave when an army of undead approaches? We decided that it would be awesome to list some of our favorite burly beardos. These dudes kick ass and take names, probably thanks to their beards.
The Walking Dead’s beards have been slowly, but steadily, picking up. While Carl continues to be the worst possible human being ever the other dudes on the show are setting a great example as to how to survive in a world full of the undead. Rick might have taken four seasons to grow his beard out but no longer is he carrying a razor. Clearly, someone has been taking some supplements. Daryl, the bearded Boondock Saints badass, has always rocked some scruff. He even looked a bit like our homie, Lord Zod. Facial hair makes or breaks a baddie, you beardos all know that. Last but not least Hershel; the lone silver fox. The great silver beard was wonderful while it lasted.
A newer dystopian mess is San Andreas, featuring the one and only Rock. Between all of the ridiculous acts of heroism, Dwayne Johnson manages to get his beard (or at least more of a beard than we have seen before) on. Maybe that regal scruff is what helps him keep his helicopter in the air during a few gnarly scenes. Be careful if you’re watching this movie with you lady; everybody knows that beards cause pregnancy. If you double down with a movie featuring a beardy Rock, be careful. Another gnarly end of the world journey with great beards is another film that if you’re lady doesn’t want to watch it with you then you need to get a new lady.
If you’re stuck on a train in a frozen tundra then it makes sense for you to grow out a fine beard. Chris Evans does just that in Snowpeircer. There is no doubt that that if beard wax on board then all of the beards would be on point and there would not longer be a dystopia. If you’re stuck in a cod train, it makes sense for you to have a beard. Keeping your face warm is only part of the solution. When the world is ending it’s important that no matter what, you look your best. Keeping your beard tight is easy; pick up a kit and groom that mane. You never know when a meteor is going to come crashing down to our planet and you need to be prepared.