May the Beard Be With You

wookie beardNow that Star Wars is out, 2015 is over. Star Wars embodies everything that is great in this

world, no, this universe. Lightsabers? Check. Galactic evil that needs to be stopped? Check. A

mysterious power that can only be defined by calling it ‘The Force’? Double check. So, in lieu of

trolling Beardilizer readers who haven’t seen the movie (what is wrong with you?) with spoilers,

the nerds at Beardilizer HQ waxed poetic about the great beards in the movies. Lando Calrissian,

sorry, you don’t make the cut but that moustache of yours is pretty great.

 

While there hasn’t been one character throughout all of the movies that has been consistently

beardy, it’s worth noting that there is an OG beard. One great Jedi keeps his beard game fresh to

death. One great Jedi keeps his beard tight, groomed and on point no matter what. Living in a

desert doesn’t stop him from looking good! Obi Wan Kenobi, no matter what, kills the beard

game. Obi Wan’s power has to be partially beard fueled. He lived in the desert waiting and

watching Luke Skywalker grow up just so he could help train him in the ways of the Jedi! Only

the strongest of beard and mind could commit to such a goal. Even in his capricious youth, Obi

Wan knew that his fresh faced look was no good! Beardilizer has mentioned the importance of a

beard mentor and the importance of finding a beard that works for your face. Obviously, these

tried and true beard suggestions work. Obi Wan did have a mentor, both in Jedi life and beards:

Both Obi Wan and Qui-Gon keep their beards fresh as f!ck, with a close, trimmed beard. Jedi

style guides must exist since both of those dudes know what they’re doing. In order to maximize

this look, there had to have been beard wax somewhere in their galaxy. Imagine fighting Count

Dooku (who also has a gnarly beard) with stray hairs in your mouth. That is not like the Jedi, not

at all! It appears that the Light side of the Force has the best facial hair, despite the strong effort

by Count Dooku. The Rebel Alliance is filled with hairy, glorious men who will not turn to the

Dark Side. Contemporary Luke Skywalker has a lush, full beard, obviously inspired by his Jedi

mentors. Even Porkins, the ill-fated X-Wing pilot had a grand beard (albiet it may not have been

flattering to his face but that’s ok).

 

The beardy legacy of the Light Side could not continue without a nod to one of the largest and

hairiest members of the Rebels; Chewbacca. Chewy’s beard was always perfect. Never a stray

hair, a speck of food, or even drool! The Wookie may have spent a lot of time with Han Solo,

whose bad-assery would only improve with a beard, but he kept his beard game strong. The

Force was obviously with him! Mrs. Chewbacca probably lectured him on the importance of keeping his beastly beard in check.

From everyone at Beardilizer, please have a safe and happy Holiday Season. May the “Force” be

with you, and your fellow beards.

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