Big Dumb Beard Questions


Everybody wants a beard these days. They’re featured in prominent tv shows, famous actors have them and every sexy single lady out there has their Tinder profile updated with, “Beard or Bust.” OG Beardos at Beardilizer have experienced, at one point in their life, dumb beard questions; questions that have nothing to do with your beard and are borderline creepy. Elite Daily put together a list of five questions that beardos are sick of hearing and it could not be truer.

The list of dumb beard questions starts with, “How long did it take you to grow that” and ends with “Are you just too lazy to shave?” Questions that every self-respecting beardo has had to field a thousand times and is sick of hearing. Your well-intended family wants to know how you eat ramen without wearing it and thinks that sending you that meme is hilarious. Life as a beardo shouldn’t be so ripe with bullshit. That’s why Beardilizer is here to give you the answers to bullsh!t beard questions.

  • How long did it take you to grow that beard?

A dumb question begets a dumb answer. Does someone ask how long it took the Romans to build Rome (the answer is that it did not happen overnight)? While you may be able to remember the day that you stopped shaving the age of your beard is not the same as the rings on a tree. Your beard and its age are not something that you should reveal to strangers unless of course you’re telling them about how the sensational Beardilizer supplement changed your beard game. If your beard popped up overnight thanks to the supplement then by all means tell your Great Aunt Bertha that your beard is two days old.

  • How do you eat without getting food stuck in your beard?

Another annoying question, especially since beardos are not slobs. Any animal can eat without wearing their meal! The urban legend of the filthy beard is completely put to rest if you tell your annoying coworker that you wash your beard every day (beard wash) and use beard oil. Eating is easy if you just pay attention to your beard. If Steve from the copy center persists, just ask him how he eats without getting food all over his shirt. Bonus beard points if Steve actually has food on his shirt.

  • Are you too lazy to shave?

Isn’t that the most annoying question in the world, if you are a beardo? No, you are not too lazy to shave; there is simply no razor on the face of this planet that could penetrate your glorious mane.

Keeping the beard naysayers at bay is not as challenging as you think. Undereducated people are always the first to ask a stupid question. Since you’re part of Team Beardilizer, you are well prepared to discuss your beard with the passion of a born-again Christian. Keep those razors away from your faces and keep fighting the good fight!